As parents, we have a profound influence over what we expose to our children. It’s a big responsibility, and oftentimes a challenge given the surrounding forces of social media.

With respect to our Hellenic heritage, we are tasked with the onus of teaching our children its multifaceted composition: Orthodoxy, culture, and stewardship. As a mother of three sons – now college aged and beyond – I often reflect on the parental decisions my husband and I made: both positive and regretted, amid raising our children in the intended spirit of Hellenism.

Through the grace of God, I met a wonderful man at – where else – a YAL conference in Snowbird, Utah. I consider that meeting a ‘side-effect’ instead of the primary reason I attended the conference in the first place. Naturally, I went because my parents ‘made me go!’ Well, thank you, Mom and Dad. Marrying within my Greek Orthodox faith laid the foundation for the strong Hellenic landscape of our married and familial life. It is imperative to be aligned in the commitment to raise a family in the spirit of Hellenism.

At first, it was easy … simple, streamlined. We married in the Greek Orthodox church. When our first son was born, the traditional 40 day blessing was observed, preceded by his baptism at 6 months of age. Church was attended every Sunday. As we had more children, it was the same scenario. We even bought toddler sized suits for them to wear to church. So far, so good, right? If we were to review our ‘Hellenistic parental report card,’ it probably would have reflected high marks.

From left to right: Alexandros, Nikos and Christophoros working at the Saint Demetrios Greek Festival in Seattle, WA.

I was set on following Greek customs and traditions in my Greek American home. We dyed our Easter eggs red. Every New Year’s Day we celebrated with a homemade Vasilopita. On a regular basis, I made pastitsio, spanakopita and the koulourakia I observed my Yiayia hand rolling over the course of my childhood. We also observed March 25th and attended many of the Glendi’s and events at our church.

Fast forward a few years. Our three boys participated in sports, and game attendance (coaches’ orders!) was mandatory and scheduled on Sundays. Consequently, Sunday school attendance suffered: we began to make it to church only if it didn’t conflict with soccer. Greek school moved to Wednesday evenings from Sunday after church, and our weekday commute to Greek lessons became too burdensome.

Forget Greek dance – same conflict. We also had to work our annual Greek festival in shifts around our boys’ activities. Thus, our commitment to raising our sons with Hellenism at the forefront became fragmented. The opportunities to align with cultural aspects of Hellenism such as AHEPA, Goya and dance were missed.

A former boss of mine often quoted, ‘when your priorities are clear, decision-making is easy.’ Looking back, it would have been beneficial to examine that Hellenic framework at the beginning of each school year, then revisit it at mid-year.

We learned while facing the pressures of American society that if the priority is to manifest Orthodox faith, culture and stewardship – soccer game schedules don’t prevail. Likewise, annual church festivals aren’t a one or two shift responsibility and then poof, done deal. For many families in America, other influences are at play, causing extracurricular activities to be weighed too heavily, immersing parents in the hectic pace of the minutia these commitments dictate. My husband and I unintentionally veered onto that path, succumbing to social pressures, and failed to notice a stifled Hellenistic intent, despite a focused start.

Our 2021 Vasilopita, an annual tradition in the Benis household.

Thankfully, Orthodoxy doesn’t waver. The church is always within our reach. And although my husband and I had never participated, we made the decision to send our sons to the Ionian Village (IV) once all three were of age and could attend together. We prioritized the expense as an educational investment; we budgeted for IV similarly to their college savings plans.

Although we had traveled to Greece as a family on several summer vacations, the impact of the experience at IV far exceeded our expectations for full immersion into their homeland, culture and Greek Orthodox faith. For them, and for us, it was life-altering. They returned from camp and it was evident that there had been a significant shift toward lasting Greek identity. The experience was a type of education and understanding that resulted from direct exposure in their mother country.

As a result, our family redirected its priorities back to focusing on our Hellenistic heritage with more clarity and a deeper sense of belonging.

Paradoxically, exposing our children to their Hellenic heritage at IV resulted in an unexpected turnabout. Their knowledge and experience set an example for us. As parents, we have become more present Hellenes. Together, our commitment, through their commitment, has perpetuated our resolve to live within the integrity of our heritage.

That being said, the kids just requested moussaka for dinner. Signing off to start the process of preparing the eggplant…